End of a Family Holiday

Yes, we did Christmas, three of my four children, all of my two granddaughters, and way too much eating of chocolate (why did I have to consume a bag of popcorn each night, in addition to everything else?). But we, Taylors, prevailed, and a new year is almost upon us. As we all know, the gifts were not the high point: just being together rocked. But we missed our Melanie and her soon-to-be husband, also a Taylor (and why would I ever change my name back to Cawley?).

Now, back in Valrico, we are still a family, but just Sean and Robin, and my big brother, Pat, are here, for another few days. Then, each of us will return to our separate lives, enriched by our time spent together. 

That 15 foot tree, or whatever it is, is waiting to be stripped and put away, the weeds in the yard are waiting to be pulled, and I have to start packing for my next adventure.

Joy.

Presidents: The New Pharoahs

Yes, I was just reading where the Saudis and other less-than-desirables have donated funds for the Clinton library. It hit me, just then, that these Presidential Libraries are like the Pyramids of old, one man's quest for immortality. They all do it, and it is just the same thing; that's all it is.

Great excitement for me that my baby boy and his darling sweetheart are coming here to Tampa to spend eight days of the holiday. Just having them in the same airspace, and then being fortunate to be going across the state for four days at Christmas, where I will see my other son's family which includes my granddaughters, is a welcome event in my rather staid life.

I am checking into reviving my nursing career, as well as writing what I hope to be a funny tale of Internet dating--it isn't pretty, but it is funny, and my experiences do reflect the fact that, at least in my case, it doesn't work. But, like so many life experiences, it is one worth having.

Florida is beautiful now--fifties at night, seventies during the days (although it seems to be sneaking above eighty lately), and I can guess the joy that northerners feel when they deplane here.

I have two identical dresses to wear to my daughter's upcoming wedding in February. One is too small and the other is too big. Why is it always like this? Irony dwelleth here.

Another Happy to Be Me Day

 What is amazing is that I realize this indisputable fact: I am in a very good place, and likely to not find a better one. My greatest joy, that my four children turned-out just fine, has given me a personal peace that few people ever get. I am thrilled just existing each day. To add a chunk of frosting on that, I do not have to work to provide for essentials, and a little bit more, nor do I feel badly about spending my time doing exactly what I want to do.

  Many people in my exact position, chronologically, and financially, would THINK or FEEL that they need MORE money for, well, more things. I am not, nor have ever been enamored of things, so I am content with what I have. I am fully aware of my mortality, causing me to not waste the time I "have left" pursuing false gods or foolish "bling." I know that, at least, some of my children feel that I have some sort of exalted destiny, but I think that I might be closer to the Buddhist "being" person than most people. 

  Yes, I would like to leave a great book  that STAYS IN PRINT when I die, but leaving a mediocre tome of dubious value does not fascinate me. I would very much like to look better than I do, lose some wrinkles and manage to adjust my overall figure somewhat, but, I know that I am not capable of doing that--so I am okay with what I have, and just try to do an hour or so of vigorous exercise about every day, while keeping good hygiene and a decent hair color. 

  And yes, I would like a sweetheart whom I could love and trust: not one I have to explain to others, one I have to tolerate or one I have to support. Just those three caveats seem to eliminate everyone I have met so far. I am learning why so many of my single friends say that they have learned to settle for friendships, as a relationship brings more bad than good, over time. It is beginning to make sense, for people of my age group who already have children. 

  So, I am enjoying each day, knowing that I don't know what the next will bring, and it, most likely, won't be any better than right now. And so, I will take my leisurely bath, then do some re-arranging of my home, maybe dig a hole or two in my front yard, and, generally, enjoy the 70 degree day. Later tonight, I will go to the gym, then to a store to get candle holders for my daughter's wedding, and then stop at Wal-mart on my way home to pick up a few things. 

  There is a loneliness aspect to this sort of life, but I still live with the belief that it will work out for the best. Maybe right now is the best, and if it is so, I am going to appreciate it. 

  After all, I really did already get my wish: this is all gravy, and very peaceful.